Friday, May 6, 2011

Tales from the Dojo

I took karate for about 16 years before I went off to college. Over the course of those years they became like a second family to me and I some downs syndrome ridden dog to them. They were always better than me. In my defense I moved to the adult class at the age of 10 so all my friends were, well adults. We have a rule in the Dojo whoever comes in second place in the weekly sparing matches buys all the beer/mountain dew and pizza we always had man pizza by the way bacon, buffalo chicken, ham, garlic and onion. I was always exempt from this rule due to being on average 30 years younger than the rest of them.
So this big black guy Dave places second again to the instructor Mr. Rose. So anyhow they start drinking eating pizza and talking about how they are both manly men who do manly things. They challenge each other to an iron man contest IE smash things into yourself to break them. Mr. Rose picks up a fork lets out a man shout and stabs his fore arm with it. the fork bends upward upon touching his skin it makes a dam U shape. This was a real fork like chrome or some shit. Dave picks up a serrated bread knife and shouts "don't be a pussy" and promptly shoves the bread knife through his leg
The nearby waitress promptly passes out. Dave pulls the knife back out off his legs and says good thing that was my fake leg.


  1. Nice post. I miss karate, haven't taken it in a few years.

  2. HAHA! Good thing that was my fake leg! this needs to be in a movie!

  3. Didn't see that one coming. lol

  4. All I can think of is the scene from talladega nights... haha